Project Debt Free Ladybug

New Blog

2011-05-25T20:18:00.001-07:00

My new blog is www.thebulimicshopper.blogspot.com

COME SEE!!

Cool Sites!

2011-03-09T21:21:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!!

I hope everyone is doing great! I wanted to tell you all about these great sites! Everyone knows how I love to shop.....I wouldn't be surprised if my picture was next to the word in the dictionary. Well this site makes shopping even better (if that is possible)!!

The first one is VoucherSeeker. They have all kinds of discount vouchers on just about anything! I love that they have a Top Voucher section at the top of the page and the sponsor ones make it so easy to try out new items and shop around!! Check it out!

Then there is Vodafone. They can give you discounts on all kinds of phones. Especially since you are going to be in a contract anyway, you might as well get the best price out there!! You can click here to get a Vodafone promotional code and save some money! SUPER COOL!!

And who doesn't love technology?!! I for one am all over it. You can get Dixons discount code here as well. Great discounts on anything electronic!!

It seems like I spend more and more and get less and less lately. With sites like this, it makes it a little less painful. Check them out and let me know what you think.

I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

Brand New Blog

2011-02-05T18:34:00.001-08:00

I have a totally new blog. Totally unknown. If you want to know the site, email me. There are certain people I don't want to know about it, so email me and I will send the site to you.

Thanks for reading!!

Sorry to be MIA

2011-01-18T21:35:00.000-08:00

I know it has been forever since I posted. There are reasons, believe me!!

I am so amazed at how my life has changed in such a short amount of time. I am working on a reality show that hopefully will come out by the end of the year. I am in the best job of my life! I have so many incredible new experiences right now and I am just trying to keep up with everything. I am so incredibly blessed.

I will try to update more as I can. I have a very limited amount of time right now. I am going to get an iPad so I can stay in touch with the world and update while I am on the road....I just need to get there to get it!!

Hope everyone is doing well.....that is if anyone even reads me anymore!! :-)

2010-10-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

So much is going on right now I haven't had a chance to update. I have been taking some photos though. It has just been so crazy. I will try to update more tomorrow. I have just had a whirlwind month!

I am working on doing a reality show. I will update more about it later. I can't go into details yet. But it would definitely be life changing.

Hope you are all doing great. Will update more later.

FORGET THE GOOD DEEDS for now.....

2010-09-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

OK, I know I am all over the place, this is just my life right now. I have been really thinking about what I love to do and there are two main things that I love. That is taking pictures and writing. So I am going to put the Good Deed thing on the back burner for now. Although I know I will come back to that at one point because I have always wanted to do that. But right now, I need to do something that will bring me peace and something I really enjoy. So instead, I am going to post a picture with a story of what I see in the photo, each day.

I love seeing photos on other people's blogs. It is what really keeps me coming back. So for the next 365 days, that is what I am going to do. I chose some names that are available. I need help deciding which one to use. Let me know which one you like.

Photo and a Story

Photo with a Story Project

Snap and Write

A Photo With a Story

My Life with a Photo

Seen Through a Camera

A Capture a Day

Seen Through My Camera

The Picture and Story Project

Story of my Life Through a Photo

Photo Life Story Project

What do you think??

I am going to charge up my camera tonight. I don't have a nice camera. Just an average one. I don't think I need anything special. I just need to be able to capture the moment that I want, right?

I think this will be really good for me. I drive everyone nuts taking pictures, so I might as well post them.

A NEW JOB

2010-09-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

I start new job on Monday. So as I sit here outside watching people, I don't see anyone that needs a good deed. I think I might just hold up a big sign saying

GOOD DEEDS HERE!!

It must have been so hard for Superman to find all the needy people in the world. I decide I am going to do good deeds and then no one falls apart. For once in the last month. This is my luck.

Can't someone just fall or something already!

Roads Blocked off. Another Gas Leak

2010-09-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

The roads down the street from my house are blocked off because there is another gas leak. Helicopters are back.

It has been so bad lately, I feel like there has been very little to be thankful for. Luckily I have some time before Thanksgiving or there would be some crickets chirping at the dinner table when it came to me saying what I am thankful of.

So I thought, since everything is so bad....I want to do something to take my mind off all my struggles.

Oh, and before that, if you are on my Facebook, you know I was almost killed in the store today. I walked in the store and I see six men barreling towards me. I knew it wasn't good, but didn't know who the bad person was. It was like a bad movie playing out in front of me. I tried to jump out of the way and almost did. They jumped on this guy and I am about a foot away as he is yelling and crying "I'm going to sue you guys." I said "You aren't going to sue anyone." I then realized he was someone that was shoplifting and these are my guys.....you don't mess with my grocery store guys. If was kind of funny how he was yelling and trying to get away while these men are all sitting on his head. I said, "Did anyone call the police?" I didn't wait for the answer and dialed 911. I then saw the police come flying in the door and hung up. I didn't even think it rang! They called me back! I told them everything was ok and that the police were there. That maybe the guy's head is a little flatter, but no one was hurt.

I ALMOST GOT TACKLED TO DEATH BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTED A STEAK DINNER!! HE TRIED TO STEAL A SIDE OF BEEF!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? I swear this stuff follows me where ever I go.

So to take the focus off me and the death and drama that is following me lately, I decided to undertake a new project. My debt is being paid off, so that part is just great. But I feel the need to help other people right now. So I am going to do a good deed each day. Something that helps someone else each day. If it is to help some old lady cross the road, tackle a bad guy and save a side of cow, give my time to help someone do something I hate doing, buy someone lunch......whatever it is that is helping someone else. And not just people I know. I really want to focus on total strangers. So I set up some names for the blog. Please take a look and let me know which one you like best. I will then start on this project and do it for one year. After that, everyone is on their own!! Kidding. So here you go.......

365 Donations

365 Deeds in 365 Days

Help One a Day

Give Once a Day

A Good Deed Each Day

Please let me know in the comments.

Thanks!!

2010-09-21T02:03:00.001-07:00

It's so bad right now I can barely breathe.

2010-09-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

My son and husband will be pal bearers at grandma's funeral. The service is on Saturday. I feel like death is chasing me. It hasn't quite caught up to me. Yet. Anything else?? BRING IT ON!!

2010-09-09T21:04:00.001-07:00

Here is a live feed of the news about the explosion by my house. http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/livenow?id=6498350

2010-09-09T20:42:00.001-07:00

My son's friend's house is gone.

Explosion outside my house.

2010-09-09T19:57:00.001-07:00

There a lot of injuries they just said.

I GIVE UP

2010-09-09T19:45:00.000-07:00

A plane just crashed a mile from where I am. I went a different direction to go home. I would have driven right into it. I swear I feel like death is chasing me. I am uploading a video from my house right now. WHAT THE F*CK IS HAPPENING!!

Murdered

2010-08-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

I won't go into all the details but the last two weeks have been hell. My son's classmate was murdered. Stabbed 37 times. 19 years old. He has been in his class since kindergarten. I live in one of the safest cities in the country. The last murder was 5 years ago and they still think that one wasn't even in this city. The funeral was horrible. Two days later, my son was in a bad car accident. All I am going to say right now is that I am very angry and upset. This is how I feel right now. This song. That's all I can say right now.

TODAY WAS GOOD!

2010-08-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

It was a great day today. I have been working on something with work and hopefully it will happen soon. We were laughing so hard today at work. My coworkers and I had some funny things happen and we were all bowled over laughing. I love days like that where everything is funny. Where you laugh so much it just makes you feel such a sense of relief. Like there are no problems in the world.

I had to purchase lunch today as I went out to do something (which I can't share yet). I have not been eating out in forever for lunch. I bring my lunch everyday. That is so out of character of me.

I did stop by a store tonight, wanting to buy some shoes. Luckily I couldn't find any that I liked. One of my good friends gave me some advice last weekend when we were walking around an outdoor mall. I wanted to buy this bag and she said, "When I am trying to get things paid off, I don't see anything as beautiful. I look at it like it is poison. Even food. Anything I am spending, if I don't need it....it is poison."

I thought that is a very good way to think of it and I have been doing that this week. It works very well. She is really incredible with money and doesn't spend a lot on anything. She is a great friend and an even better role model. I am so blessed to have her in my life.

So today, I only bought lunch and came home for a home cooked meal. It was wonderful!!

May all my days be like today!

FINE, HERE'S A DAHN POST!!!!!!

2010-08-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a little bit since I updated. I have been dealing with some heavy stuff. My son's classmate was murdered in a horrible way. So I have been helping him deal with that. I must live in the safest place in America, so this is something that just doesn't happen here. Ever.

Then I have been going to meetings.

Then there is some work changes that I have been working on.

And some exciting news that I can't share just yet. But it would be life changing. I will update more on this later.

I will leave you with five things you might not know about me:

I am addicted to shopping. (HAHA! Yeah, right. Great secret, Leigh Ann)

I have to count things in fours. If I don't I think it's bad luck. When I put on perfume, I have to spray it in fours. I think five is bad luck. I don't do anything with five. (HEY! A lot of people have this issue too!)

I could sleep all day. If I don't make plans, I will just sleep. So I always make plans.

When I was a teenager, I ran over a police woman on her motorcycle. Yes, it was on accident!!

My prom date died. (No, not on my prom night....but not long after. :-( )

When I was little my mom said I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up and I took it literally. I wanted to be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

CUT UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS!

2010-08-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

CUT UP MY CARDS!!!

2010-08-08T23:00:00.001-07:00

I have a bunch of updates, but I will do them one at a time. Here is the first one.

CLICK HERE

BEST DAY IN A YEAR!

2010-08-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

Last night was the best time I have had in over a year!

We had my mom watch my grandma and we took off to San Francisco for a night of freedom. My friend flew in from Saudi Arabia. She is staying there while her husband is working. I haven't seen her in a year. She came to my house and we left from there together. It is super hard to find parking in San Francisco. All my old coworkers (Friends) planned on meeting for dinner at 6:30 pm. All my friend Michael said (actually, I didn't even talk to him, I got a text) was to go to this certain address and we were going to have Crab. That is all I knew. If you know me, I am not one that does well with not knowing what is going on, but I decided to say yes to everything last night. We left to the city early (around 2 pm) and I thought it would be easier to just park at where the restaurant is and take a cab from there to Union Square. So we get to where the restaurant is and park my car. We stood there and tried to hail a cab. Um.....where are the cabs? Not only that, but I have only been in a cab once and really thought they drove slow so they could charge more so I wasn't worried. I am super afraid to let anyone drive. In fact, I drive everywhere. I mean everywhere. I don't think I have been a passenger in years and if I have been, whoever is driving regrets not letting me drive. I FREAK!

After about 10 minutes of sitting there like a bunch of doofuses we finally first see a bus, then a cab behind the bus. But we are standing where the bus is supposed to go, so my friend says

"We have to get behind where the bus is going to stop."

So we walk towards the bus so we can hail the cab behind it. But when we walk, the bus gets in the way and the cab never even sees us!

"Let's just go to that corner of 25th, it should be busier than this street." My friend said. So we walked to that street. Another 10 minutes and still no cabs. More cars.....no cabs.

I finally went on my iPhone and Googled "CABS" I find one that seems close and call them.

"Where are you located?"

"We are on the corner of 25th and Clement."

"Just walk up to that next block, which is Geary and you will find a cab."

Great. We were a few hundred feet away from a ton of cabs. But all the cabs that were free were on the other side of the street. So I finally got sick of it and screamed to a cab across the street "CAB!!!!!" He looks over to me like I have Turret's or something. Who cares, he heard me!

We finally get across the street and get in the cab. Almost immediately I regret this. He slams on the gas and I swear my head could have decapitated from the shear force. He was swerving in and out of traffic and I SWEAR TO YOU he never took his hand off the horn! I thought I was going to die, in a cab, with no hope of ever eating crab! I tell you, I think this YA HOO took out the shocks in this car because I think my boobs may be bruised from the bumps. IT WAS AWFUL.......then I got car sick! Not to mention that I had no idea we were on the exact opposite side of the city from Union Square, so I had to sit in this capsule of death for over 20 bucks worth of travel!! CAN YOU BELIEVE PEOPLE PAY FOR THIS!! I was so wrong about cabs! It is so NOT LIKE it is on "The Devil Wears Prada" movie.

We finally made it and I would have kissed the ground when we got out, but there was this guy laying there LAYING THERE with his hand out with a nickel in it. "Hey, mister.....you are in my way of kissing that ground! You ruined it. I am SO NOT kissing the ground you are laying on. YUCK!"

Instead we went into Macy's because I was going to buy something before I died on the cab ride back.

Long story short, I decided not to buy anything and I treated my husband to some overpriced cologne. Although it smells like a MOJITO so if he doesn't wear it, I will just throw it in a glass and PARTY DOWN! (Update: He loves it.)

We hail another cab to go back. And this time, I had my hands over my eyes and while I usually have to sit in front, I opted to sit in the back this time. (I COULDN'T BEAR TO SEE WHERE I WAS GOING!) He zig zagged in and out of traffic and I just screamed. I was so freaked out! He looked in the rear view mirror and said "Are you afraid?" Nah, what makes you think that!

"I am super afraid of being a passenger in a car and yes, this is my version of hell!"

He was very nice and told me how you can only be in two accidents or you would be fired. He went on to tell us that he has been driving cabs for 10 years. I asked him how many more accidents he can have until he gets fired. He told me his record is clean. He said they have to drive super fast like that to make money and that they don't get pulled over by the cops for speeding, only if they run red lights. (very comforting to know we will be continuing on at 100 miles an hour)

I told him....."I will pay you double to take twice as long."

"That will work." He then slowed down to about 80!!

We finally made it to our destination $40 less in our pocket, car sick, freaked out of my head and no appetite.

As soon as we walked in to the restaurant I started to feel better. They had already ordered. When you have dinner with these friends of mine, forget about ordering. It is just done for you. There were 3 whole crabs brought out. Two were covered in garlic and the other one was called a drunken crab. Yes, cooked in alcohol. By then I just wanted to drink the bowl! These ladies put bibs on us and I knew this was going to be an adventure.

One thing after another kept coming to the table. Marinated meat cubes to die for, pork chops with fish sauce, garlic noodles....food just kept coming. We all talked, laughed, cracked crabs, had garlic flying all over the place, the waitress grabbed one of the bowls and a garlic noodle fell on my head. It was so fun!

By the time it was over, I think I gained ten pounds and we sloshed our way outside. It was starting to get late and they said, ok lets go get coffee. I called the house and my son agreed to come home to help my mom with my grandma so my husband and I could stay out. It was so amazing how everything happened so perfectly. We were still free! Until.......

"Let's take my car." Michael said. (Michael makes the cabs look like they drive like grandmas)

"No, let's take two cars."

"Leigh Ann, come on let's go." I tried to hand my parking ticket to the attendant, but Michael dragged me to his car. Fine. Life has been nice. If it is going to end it might as well be in a luxury automobile.

So we drive down to Pacific Heights (the rich part of San Francisco) and we go to, I kid you not....this place.......

On my friend's Facebook page she put "Got Crabs then off to Squat and Gobble." I think that could be something you need antibiotics for!!

There were heaters outside so we sat there while they went inside.

"Just get me a decaf latte and my husband and I will share."

They come out and a few minutes later the waiter comes out with three gigantic crepes!! Are you kidding! I am going to explode! (said as we all started digging in to the crepes) We sat outside, laughed and told stories about our previous jobs and how we loved hanging out together. I tried to soak in the time we were spending as days like this just don't happen very often. We took a picture that I titled "Best Friends, St. Elmo's Fire".........

It was time to go, so we head back to our cars before they are towed. I felt like the end of that movie when Rob Lowe is getting on a bus and everyone knows it isn't going to be the same after this and felt very sad. There is something about my friend Viet (The one staying in Saudi Arabia) She just brings us all together and without her is by far, not the same.

We drove home and talked one last time (her car was parked at my house) I stood outside and watched her drive off and realized it was going to be a long time before we see each other again and felt so grateful for friends like this. I don't think I have laughed this much in years!

WOW......this was a freakin' long post!! And to think I was just going to say "Got Crabs and then went to Squat and Gobble"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listed Another Item

2010-08-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

I listed another item on eBay....check it out HERE!

VOTE FOR ME!!

2010-07-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

I entered this contest for DISNEY Animals. Please vote for me each day. If I win, I might even be able to take a vacation with my dog to see my sister!! This is the photo I entered.

You can vote every day. It would mean a lot to me and my family.

Thank you for all the support you guys show me.

CLICK HERE!!

SMOOCHIES!!

It's a New Day

2010-07-25T17:00:00.001-07:00

Even though I mess up, I try to get right back up and do better the next day. Yesterday was a disaster with shopping. My friend, her daughter and I went out to breakfast. FAIL. Then we went to Stanford Shopping Center so I can get a new wallet. See it HERE. FAIL. We walked around, took pictures and then had some ice cream. FAIL. I then found the same clip that I gave my sister years ago, which I loved! See it HERE. FAIL. On our way home my husband called to say he was going to make dinner, but we were missing a few things. My friend's daughter's birthday was yesterday so I invited them to dinner. I stopped by the grocery store and bought dinner stuff, a balloon and a confetti cake. (THIS WAS NOT A FAIL! Birthdays are important!) We had the best dinner I have had in years. My son's friend came over too and my friend's boyfriend and my mom. It was a full house and wonderful!! We ate great food and had great conversation.

The reason I got a new wallet....I wanted a wallet I can carry my cell phone and keys in, while staying organized. So, I am at Starbucks listing my other wallets on eBay to pay for this one.

The reason I got the hair clip.....I WANTED IT!! No other rationalization. I just love it and it lasts forever. I had the one I gave my sister for 5 years. And she probably doesn't have hers anymore!

It was such a great day. Even if I spent WAY TOO MUCH MONEY!!

Tomorrow is a new day and I will try my best to not spend anything.

UPDATE: Another item on eBay HERE!!

Another.....

2010-07-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

I posted another item on eBay....it is so cute, but I don't need it. And I am selling almost everything!.......again. :-)

Check it out HERE

More updates tonight.

FOUND SOME OLD PHOTOS OF ME!! TOO FUNNY!

2010-07-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

I'm SAFE

2010-07-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

It's nice to know I am safe from all the leaves and pieces of dirt that might be in my backyard!

Click HERE

2010-07-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

I went even more red......what do you think? If I keep this up, I will become a ladybug myself!!

LADYBUG MOVIE!

2010-07-15T20:01:00.000-07:00

I found this little guy on my car......DON'T YOU JUST LOVE LADYBUGS??

NOT GOOD........

2010-07-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

I have not done well shopping wise the last couple days. Probably because my mom isn't here to monitor everything I do! There are other reasons, I know, why I am shopping a bit. So here is what I have bought in the last couple days.

I went to Sausalito with a friend that I haven't seen in over 20 years and we bought these cool necklaces that you can switch the inside out so you have all different kinds of inserts. I have this one and one other one. (click on the picture to see it better....especially if you are blind like me!)

Not the earphones....what a ghetto picture. And to think it took me, like, 10 tries while sitting in Starbucks and can you believe this is the best one?!!

And then something I have wanted to get since I started this new blog. I saw the girl on Real Housewives wearing it on the Reunion show and finally hunted it down. I have been putting off getting it, because it was pricey (for me) but I found it on eBay and bought it yesterday with my Paypal balance. SO CUTE, RIGHT??

I will get back on track. At least I used the money from the items I sold on eBay, but I should have put the amount to my debt. Oh well, at least I am being honest.

I could have lived without the necklace, but I love the ring.

Other than that, not much is going on. I hope I get through the day without spending anything else.

I will leave you with a question I had when I saw this guy driving down the street in San Francisco the other day........... (Now these you have to click on to get the full picture!)

WHY????!!!!!!!

Get a truck!!

* I had this image of driving behind him and him slamming on his breaks and everything flying out and me be decapitated by a flying ladder!!

Can you imagine people asking my family saying......

"What do you think was the last thing that went through Leigh Ann's mind?"

and them responding ..............

"A LADDER!!"

The Word DUH Comes to Mind.....

2010-07-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I posted....4 days. I am lagging for some reason. BUT I'M BACK!

I saw my mom and son off to Hawaii, so that is my excuse. I have been so distraught over not going with them, I curled up in a corner and was....um....sad. Yeah, that was it. So sad.

No????

Fine. I am just being lazy. I come home from work and just stare at the TV. What are my favorite shows you ask? Well, I will tell you......But you can't laugh.......

TV

The Closer

Mama's Family

Sanford & Son

Dog The Bounty Hunter

Golden Girls

Keeping Up Appearances

Are You Being Served?

Law & Order

Intervention

The First 48

MOVIES

Enchanted April

Little Miss Sunshine

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Sunshine Cleaning

In Her Shoes

Breakfast at Tiffany's

The Blind Side

As Good as it Gets

Muriel's Wedding

Waking Ned Devine

What are your favorites?? I need ideas!

At least I'm not shopping, right? My brain might turn to mush, but I won't be broke!

THE BEST DAY!

2010-07-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

I had the best day yesterday. I am on a short break and have to go back now, but I will post some pictures tonight. It was wonderful!!

Hope you all had a good 4th.....who saw fireworks? I didn't. :-(

I'm Bored

2010-07-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

You know, sometimes when you can't spend money, it can be very boring! I have no idea what to do right now. I'm supposed to go grocery shopping, but I don't feel much like moving. Although I wouldn't mind having some Haagen Daz right about now!

What can I do that won't cost me anything?

Pain in the *SS!

2010-06-29T16:45:00.000-07:00

With all the creditors I was having to update on here......I didn't have time to update. So I am making it simple for myself and just putting the total amount. I will be paying attention to the cards as I pay them off, but updating each item on here was a pain in my patootie!! At least this way I will actually update it.

I have been doing incredible with my debt and not spending. My mom is a rock star!! I have these little change purses I am using for each item.

Here are what I use......they are color coated for each item I spend on. Groceries, gas, coffee, etc.

I like color coordination. It works really well. I used to go into the store and just slap my debit card down and I had no idea how much I was spending. Now, if I do that.....I won't have enough money!! LOVE IT!!

How do you pay for things??

Another Item for Sale!

2010-06-27T18:09:00.001-07:00

Here is another one I just listed....... HERE

I NEED SUSHI!

For Sale

2010-06-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

I posted another item on eBay. Check it out here.

I am also trying to to updating the sidebar and actually posting on here this week. I don't know where my brain is today. I have just been enjoying life and spending time remodeling our house. The garden looks amazing. I will post pictures later today.....I hope.

Good news......I PAID OFF TWO OF MY CARDS!! WHOOOO YAH!

And I just finished visiting with a friend I haven't seen in 25 years! She is exactly like she was then. I HAD THE BEST TIME! Way too short though......I will kidnap her later and we can hang out for a longer time. SO MUCH FUN DANIELLE!!!!

I will update more later.

SMOOCHIES!!

DIDN'T WORK

2010-06-19T15:27:00.000-07:00

Everything has worked great with renewing myself. Except the one thing I did a couple days ago. I decided to change my hair color. While it isn't that bad, I do have to go back in Monday so my lovely hair artist (she is an artist!) can fix it. When I look in the mirror, I see this............

I think I am exaggerating a bit. I don't know why I thought I could go from this..........

to this.......

Live and learn. So forget about this change.....I will be back to the red because I am WAY TO IMPATIENT to get back to my blonde hair.

So, I am at Starbucks now and will attempt to update all my numbers on the sidebar. WISH ME LUCK!! and if I have time, I will list a few things on eBay!

SMOOCHIES!

Renewing Myself

2010-06-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

I got all the numbers on my debt. But it is 10 pm and I will have to deal with it tomorrow.

My computer is about to die, but I wanted to update you on what I have been doing this week. The last couple months I have been slowly making changes. I am calling it a renewal of sorts. Some small changes, and some big ones. All positive. I have been focusing on making changes that will enrich my life and my family's life. It feels really good. Tomorrow will be another big change.

Last week my mom and I started walking every day. We are going to walk every day until we are both at the weight we want to be at. She is also cooking 3 days a week as well as I. Everything healthy. Each day, we are walking farther and farther. It has been so nice to get that time with her. We are challenging ourselves and getting closer as we walk. I adore the time I am spending with her. She is incredible. I am so lucky to have a mom like her.

So, I will update the change tomorrow. Hopefully it will be another positive step to make me feel good about myself and the changes I am making.

SWEET DREAMS!!

CRACK KILLS

2010-06-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

I guess it's time to update my blog.

My grandma is home now. We have the physical trainer coming today. She is doing ok. It's been a bit of a strain on all of us, but we are all in this together which helps to have as much support as I have.

It was a long week. I did great on spending, but I haven't had a chance to update the numbers here. I will try to get to that in the next couple days.

They only thing I bought this week was the Microsoft application for Mac. The one that has Word and Excel. I downloaded this website that cleans your computer and it cleaned it so much IT TOOK THE PROGRAM OFF MY COMPUTER!! Of course, I don't have the disk, so I had to go buy it. Totally sucks balls!! (Gumballs)

Other than that....OH WAIT.....THIS MORNING....OOH, I have to tell you about this morning! My mom and I went to get coffee. Right behind me this homeless stinky man gets in line. After we paid for our coffee I am waiting and MAN HE SMELLED, he started talking to himself. I tried to not throw up in my mouth by the smell of him. He was young too. Anyway. We go to sit down and with my luck, he comes over to where we were and he turns his back to us to sit down and get this.....

HIS PANTS WERE AT HIS ANKLES!! AND DID HE WEAR UNDERWEAR??

DID HE EVEN WEAR A THONG??

A SPEEDO??

OF COURSE NOT!!

He stood there, for what seemed like forever, completely mooning my mom and I. I was SO GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE FOR YOU GUYS, but the smell almost knocked me into a coma, so instead I got up and told the people at the register that they had a NAKED MAN at their table.

We decided to go sit outside to get some fresh air and get away from all the crack!!

We are about to get over it all when, guess who walks up and sits next to us??

NOPE, NOT HIM.

SOMEONE WHO HAD TO BE HIS FATHER!! smelled just as bad too!

I say the only thing I could think of to my mom......

"There must be a convention in town."

I figured at that point it was time to go. Moral of this story??.............

KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM CRACK!! CRACK KILLS!! SO DOES NAKED HOMELESS STINKY MEN!!

IN THE HOSPITAL

2010-06-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I have not updated in a few days. Sunday we finally had a day where my husband, my mom and I were all off work, so we decided to go to the Art and Wine Festival while my son watched my grandmother. He has been her caregiver for a couple years now and does an incredible job. We had just gotten finished having a wonderful lunch when my son called and said my grandmother collapsed. He called 911 and they told him what to do. They rushed her to the hospital, where she wasn't responsive. They did numerous tests and found she was severely anemic. The first 24 hours were the hardest. They said we will have to play it by ear. She wouldn't respond to anyone. They couldn't find a manual pulse. I had a vision of seeing my grandfather go through the same thing two years ago. He never woke up. That was the darkest day in my life.

They gave her 2 blood transfusions and did numerous tests. They found she was bleeding somewhere and they have not been able to find out where. The doctor didn't think it would be good to put her through the test to see if it is colon cancer, because even if it is, what are they going to do? Her red blood cells went back up after the transfusion but so did the white blood cells, which indicated she was fighting something. They don't know what. So I have just been going to work and trying to not think about what is happening. I thought I would never make it through seeing this happen to my grandfather. I had no hope at all. I went through all that pain and survived. I never thought I could survive without him.

So now, I go to work, go to the hospital, come home, sleep a couple hours and do the same thing all over again. I can say it totally sucks. But the one thing I haven't done is turn to spending. I have not faultered even once on my budget. My grandfather told me "Don't live outside your means." I wasn't very good at that. But I am changing. I am doing that now. I want to make them proud.

That picture above is my two inspirations. You can see how much my grandmother loves my grandpa. I took that picture a few days after my grandfather had a stroke and we were visiting him in rehab. You can see the anguish in my grandma's eyes. What I would give to see her as alive as she was then.

I ask that if you can, please pray for her. Her name is Rosalie. And if it isn't too much to ask, please pray for my mom too. She is exhausted. I'm worried about her. Her name is Rochelle. I love them both so much it hurts. I want so much to take their pain away.

The picture below is my grandparents holding hands. They have held hands for over 60 years. I hope when she is asleep she is seeing him in heaven and they are holding hands like this. My sister said something simple and it has stuck with me since she said it......

IT SUCKS TO GET OLD!

Dash Ladybug!

2010-06-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it....a ladybug landed on my windshield! I had to take a picture of it for you guys. From the looks of it, it looks like I am going to fall off the side of the street! The hazards of this blog, I tell ya!

That's good luck right??

I have gone all week without spending anything but coffee money. I didn't think I had it in me, but when my mom is monitoring every penny I spend, I have this guilt factor thing. It works for me. It must be the catholic guilt I have.

I pay for everything in cash now. Coffee, groceries, gas. Everything. It makes you think and add things up before you spend.

I don't want to be stuck in line and say

"oh....I don't have enough. Put the pot roast back, but I need the ice cream!"

"Hmm......I probably don't need that 10 pounds of potatoes, but I really want the brie."

Then some good samaritan feels all this pity for me and says

"Hey, I will buy you some milk. Hard times."

Hey....this could work for me.

Naw.....I don't want to be stuck in line, feeling like a loser that can't pay for everything I bought, so I go way under the amount I know I have.

So, I am going to go check out some of your blogs and then head to the grocery store and put that pathetic look on my face so maybe I could score some free dinner rolls!! haha!

FOR SALE!

2010-06-02T17:20:00.000-07:00

So, I am now off and running and totally broke!! My mom took over all my bills and we paid everything. I am now officially left with a total of 11 bucks in my account!!

She put me on an allowance each week of $50. That has to cover my coffee and anything else I find a need to spend money on. I probably spent that every day, not once a week. I probably did even more than that some days. THIS IS PAINFUL!

So, to pay the debt down even faster, I am listing stuff on eBay. I was giving all my sale money to my sister, but I will have to cut it to half of my sales. Which will just motivate me even more to list stuff so I know she can do little things for her kids and especially herself.

My first item is here. It is a wallet I used a couple times, but I had WAY TOO MANY credit cards so it wouldn't fit everything I had. I have so many things where I only used them a couple times. Quite a few of them I am selling to Bag Borrow or Steal. They seem to give a good amount for my items. I am trying very hard to not STEAL this......

I have to return it on Friday. It is so PRETTY!! It will be the last time I rent a bag for a long long long LONG time. I think I will sleep with it under my pillow tonight. I am going to miss it. I loved it so much until my coworker said......

"I like your Breast Cancer Awareness bag."

I have nothing against breast cancer.....well, actually, I do.....I HATE BREAST CANCER, but I don't want an over priced handbag that looks like a billboard for awareness week!! That makes it easier to return for some reason. So back it goes.

This is a big weight lifted off my shoulders, to just work and focus on not spending. Now that I am totally held accountable.

I will list some more items as soon as I charge up my stupid camera so my pictures don't look like I pulled them out of my toilet!!

Cutting up the cards....and letting go.

2010-05-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

I came home on Friday and have had trouble sleeping since then. I feel like I don't have any control of spending at all. I know what I am doing, think about it, and then do it anyway, knowing I am going to regret it and feel bad.

Have you ever felt like no matter how much you want to change, you just go back to doing the same thing. Time after time? I feel powerless. And the judging. People will judge you no matter whether they understand or not. I can imagine it is frustrating for people. When they see what you do and then you hear "Just Stop." Is it ignorance? Is it that they care too much to see you suffer? I don't know, but for me.....If I see someone suffering from something and I don't understand why they can't just change, I think about how I deal with shopping and spending money I don't have, and I have compassion. I hope some people will look at this and realize that this is an illness, like any other. I need help. I have to be willing to change and have the desire. I do. It's hard, but I have to.

I have been holding on to the credit cards......not wanting to cut them up. Afraid that I will have no back up. I have no savings. I have only enough in my checking account for my bills. I am afraid I will run out of food and my family will go hungry. Right now, my freezer is empty. Completely empty. I don't know how I am going to change again. But I am going to. It is so sad that I am back doing what I did before. I feel so ashamed. Tomorrow, I will cut up the cards.

My saint mom agreed to take over paying my bills for me. She is retiring in a week and can use the extra money, so I am going to pay her to pay my bills. With the money I will save, not having access to my accounts will be just what I need. I need to let go and have her take care of all the money. I think about money all the time. More like shopping all the time. I need to just work and come home and blog. Find things that don't cost money to do and stop thinking about shopping or doing the things in the past that I have done to forget my problems. So, I will post a video of me cutting up the cards. I need to let go and get on with my life.....without the debt or the guilt of spending. My mom probably isn't the best person to do this as she isn't very understanding of my problem.....but she is the only one I can trust to do it. I am truly grateful she will.

I won't have my debt debit card or any card for that matter. Everything will be cash. I am going to change my life. Over night. I just pray I can do this. Why am I so scared of letting go? Letting go of the control? I feel so exposed right now.

This probably is so boring to read. But I needed to vent this so I can let go tomorrow. Maybe I will finally be able to sleep.

Maybe.

2010-05-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

This whole week I have just been shuffling along. I haven't been spending money, which is good. GOOD BUT BORING!!

I have the next three days off. We were going to go away for a night, but I don't want to leave my dog, so we are just going to do a day trip.

Wow.....I just woke up and I feel like I am thinking and typing in slow motion. My brain isn't quite on yet.

Today is payday, so bills are being paid today. I hope I have at least a tiny bit left over after all is said and done. But getting out of debt is the most important thing. I can't believe I have to go through this again. Totally stinks!

OK, time to pull my head up from the side of the wall and get ready. I hope you are all having a good week and if you get three days off YIPPIEE!!!

I LOVE HANDBAGS!!

2010-05-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

This is the coolest site!

I just rented one item for a week. I will get it Friday. It's called Bag Borrow or Steal and you can rent handbags.....pretty much any bag you can think of. They even buy bags!

For someone who gets bored easily, this could work for me. If you want to try it too click on THIS so I get credit as a referral. I am renting this one above. I have not been able to find it anywhere but here. If it is as cute as it looks, I might have a problem returning it and may have to STEAL it!!

So cool, right?

2010-05-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

So, today was a completely no spend day until I went to dinner with my mom. We had a really nice time, talking about everything that is going on with each of us, and my sister, and what we are going to do next weekend. We both have three days off. We decided we are going to go to Monterey and Carmel. I don't think we are going to stay overnight as I CAN'T SPEND ANY MONEY!! (oh....right.....I don't have any!)

She bought me dinner tonight. It was super nice. I usually pay for everything when we go out. She has done so much for me over the years, it's my time to take care of her. But, I let her this time.

I then had to stop by and get some shampoo and conditioner. And let me tell you, I have changed on the shampoo front! Until I get this debt paid off, I am no longer using $35 shampoo. I can't believe I spent that much anyway. I am back to the cheap, "What is on sale?" kind. Dry hair.....hair falling out....HERE I COME!!

Saved: No coffee $5.70
   Lunch (Slept instead of eating)
   Dinner (Thanks mom!)

Spent: Shampoo and conditioner $7
   Storkk Chocolate Riesen $3 (Best candy ever made)
   3Musketeers Minis $4 (for my mom....she loves them)
   Misc toiletries
   Total was $33

I just need to make it to Friday and I can pay my bills again....which by the way I am staring at right now.

Did I mention I hate debt?

Oh yeah....I did buy something this week. But I made them match a price I saw online and they did it! All my bags are huge so I got this small bag that holds all my essentials and then some. I love it, the only problem is there is no shoulder strap, but I am holding it under my arm. Dinner tonight was an issue since I can't really put it on the ground and I ended up setting it on the table. I have never used a small bag, so I am trying to figure out how to use it. You should have seen me....I tried to put it on the ground...Nope, to small. I tried putting it on the seat behind me.....Nope, too big. I was about to ask for a separate chair for my clutch!!  I finally gave up and plopped it on the table. It kept our salt and pepper company. I need to stay small because the bigger the bag, the more I buy carry.

I love retro and it totally reminded me of the 50's......I LOVE THE 50's!! (unless it's my age!)

Anyone carry a small clutch?

Didn't Spend

2010-05-18T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I didn't spend any money and today I didn't spend any money. Did I tell you I didn't spend any money?

Just checking.

Two days must be some kind of record for me.

Now if I can just do this for a year I will be golden!!

5 Favorite things I like to buy:

Rings
Ice Cream
Blankets
Stuff for my Dog
Flowers

What are your favorite things to buy?

Had to have surgery. YUCK!

2010-05-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have been missing the last few days. I had to have surgery and I am having some trouble talking. Although, this is typing, but the pain distracted me so I just laid in pain for a while. Now I am sitting in pain, but so much better.

I had to have a growth removed from my tongue. They said I bit my tongue too hard and it caused too much scar tissue and every time I would accidentally bite my tongue I would start hemorrhaging blood. It was so gross!!

I went in and as soon as they came at me with this BIG *SS needle, it was over!!

"What's that??!!"

"It's just something to numb your tongue."

He proceeded to put two gigantic shots in my tongue. The only consolation was that the whole time I got to stick my tongue out at him.

About 10 seconds later my tongue blew up like the GOOD YEAR BLIMP!!

You should have heard me.....

"Whad habbened do ma tong??!!"

"It swells like that until after the surgery. It will go down."

They come back in after a few minutes and I started crying.....knowing they are coming at me with a knife and they are going to cut off part of my body!

I closed my eyes....shaking like a big swollen leaf! He then tells his assistant......

"Put the grounding tape on."

She wraps this big metal sticker around my leg and then I SMELL BURNING!!

"OH MY GOD....I'M ON FIRE, I'M ON FIRE!!"

"It's just a caudering iron."

Oh, is that all.....well, darn. And me without marshmallows. We could have made SMORES!

"Can you at least give me some Botox for all the pain I am going through?"

He puts in stitches.

OK......ONE stitch.

But hey, I am watching as he is sewing up my face!! That was just all kinds of wrong!

When they are finally done, I got up and said in the most loving way.........

"AND TO THINK I HAD TO PAY YOU FOR THIS!!"

So, now, I can't eat spicy food, citrus, solid food, food with air. I'M STARVING!!

THIS SUCKS BALLS! (gum balls, mom)

It can't get worse, so I decided to come to Starbucks and pay my bills. I might as well. Not like I can talk and say no, right?!!

Lesson for the day...........DON'T BITE YOUR TONGUE!!

UPDATE:

While I am now under $20,000......it totally sucks that I just paid a ton of money to my credit and it only went down $150 due to interest. I HATE CREDIT!!

Why?????

2010-05-13T19:39:00.000-07:00

I don't get it why some people save and are afraid to not have money. They count every penny and say no to things they don't need. But then there are people like me that want to buy everything in sight! (well, that is because the sights are in a Bloomingdale's store) I want everything in Bloomingdales. In fact, maybe I could spend the weekend in one. Just sleep there in the bedding department for a few days. Just kind of borrow everything there.

I want to be the kind of person that has CD's and a high balance in my checking account. I want to really know the value of a dollar and save everything I can. I guess I just WANT pretty things more. But I don't know how to change that. I see people responsible with there money. I try paying cash and I spend it just the same. I don't feel the pain of giving it to people or stores. I don't feel the need to hold onto it. Funny, when I buy things, after a short time, I don't feel the need to hold onto it either. I love clearing out my house and selling or throwing things away. I hate clutter. So I clear it out, sell it, give it away, or throw it away and then I wonder what I did with something and I buy it again. So stupid.

I have to change this.

Yesterday I had a no spend day (minus my coffee) and today I only bought dinner for the family. It was $37. And then I bit the SH*T out of my tongue and bled all over the kitchen table and didn't end up finishing dinner. Hemorrhaging all over the table kind of killed it on my appetite.

And I went all week without buying lunch once! That was good, for sure. Mainly, I think, because I am so lazy, I didn't want to drive to get anything. But hey, whatever saves me money, right??

If you have any idea how I can realize that if I don't start saving and paying more towards this debt, I will end up homeless and a bag lady. Maybe a HANDBAG lady, but still. Let me know. I could really use some words of wisdom. I am feeling really crappy about myself right now. Weird how your attitude and positiveness changes. One day I think I CAN DO THIS, I AM ALL POWERFUL!

And then there is today.

Doing OK

2010-05-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

I have been doing ok with everything, spending wise. I did have one item from HSN that was on waitlist and it showed up. After seeing it, I decided to keep it. It is so unique and perfect, for me. You can see it HERE. I love the designer's voice. And when I look at it, it looks like the ocean inside. It is truly unique. I have never seen anything like it. Although, I kept staring at it at work.....it is distracting. Not so good for business. :-)

Today I bought some fresh salmon and some jumbo shrimp. And my favorite ice cream, Haagen Daz Chocolate Chocolate Chip. I am updating this as everything is cooking away! I also bought some other groceries. I really need to pay cash at the grocery store, because I get carried away. I could spend hours even in a grocery store looking at everything.

And I want to download Sense and Sensibility onto my iPhone. I love that movie. What is your favorite version? Mine is the one that was a television series. So incredible. I love watching movies like that when I am stressed. But my favorite movie of all time is Enchanted April, which is not on iTunes. So SAD!!

BUT I AM NOT ORDERING ANYTHING!

So I will leave you with what happened on Mother's Day..........

It was my mom's birthday so I told my husband and son to go get a cake and candles. They come home with the cake and when I went to get the candles, they were the shape of balloons. I see about 10 of them with different letters on them.

ME: "What are the letters?"

HUBBY: "There should be enough to spell her name."

ME: "ER.....What is this? There is only 10....."

I look at the package and IT IS IN SPANISH!!

ME: "WHAT DOES THIS SAY?" "THERE ISN'T EVEN ONE LETTER OF HER NAME!"

We started cracking up!

I have no idea what it said so..........

ME: "Just put the candles backwards so she can't see the letters."

The minute we started lighting them they start melting. Not only that, but I started lighting from the outside, so every time we lit another one, it would burn our hands.

"OUCH!........OUCH!........DAMMIT........OUCH!"

"JUST HURRY!" "OUCH!"

I was so distracted by the third degree burns, I took the cake making sure I couldn't see the letters and walked out to where she was sitting. We all started singing Happy Birthday.

The first thing out of her mouth is......

MOM: "WHAT'S WITH THE LETTERS?"

In my burnt shock I went brain dead and made sure I couldn't see the letters, not realizing that if I can't see them, that means they are facing her.

I THINK THIS ONE SHOULD QUALIFY ME FOR SPECIAL HANDICAP PARKING PRIVILEDGES, DON'T YOU??

Here is the package.....and by the way my mom said....."Oh, that says....hmmm.....Happy.....oh, and that last part means Year, so it must say Happy New Year."

great.

Then I told my sister and she said.........

"DOOFIS.....IT SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

YOU CAN GUESS WHAT GRADE I GOT IN SPANISH.

Parking in the front row.....here I come!!

NO SPENDING!

2010-05-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

I had a no spend day yesterday.....WHOOPIEE!!!!

Today I just went to the grocery store and bought food to last a week. That was a little expensive, but I won't buy any food for a week. For me, that's a good thing.

I hope you are being good too!

Starbucks: $5.70 yesterday and today

Groceries: $160

Included in those groceries are some flowers I am going to plant tomorrow. THEY ARE SO PRETTY!!!

I'm a Bad Girl

2010-05-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

I did not do good yesterday. I would have done great if I had just gone straight home, but instead, I stopped by a store and got........hold for it........hold for it.......A SAFE!!

My rationalizing brain..........

"I will pay cash for everything, so I don't want to have cash just sitting in my dresser. That's not safe......."

Stupid.

I bought my son a blanket too. He totally could have just washed his blankets. There was no need to buy him another one.

The one thing that I did buy that at the time I thought was a mistake is actually, probably, the most useful. A serving set. It has an olive tray, a bread tray, dipping bowls and oil and vinegar bottles. I serve olives and bread with most dinners so this will actually be the most useful thing I bought. But could I have done without any of these items?.............ABSOLUTELY.

Can I return any of these items?

NOPE.

Learned my lesson. Go straight home after work. I still don't have control when I shop.

Duh.

Safe: $26.99
Blanket: $18.99
Serving Dishes: $8.99

Starbucks: $5.70

Total: $60.67

I will be better today.....I hope.

DON'T WANNA DO IT!

2010-05-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

I swear....If I have to journal one more thing I am going to fall off my chair into a coma. Is it possible to actually be BORED TO DEATH??

It is so much more entertaining to try on shoes. Or eat chocolate......or ice cream.

Talking about my FEELINGS <------ (said in a drawn out annoyed way, while rolling my eyes) sucks!

It came up again where I wanted to just "Stop By" a store quickly on my way home. No one would know and I will be home practically at the same time as I normally am. But dammit (did I say that?) I will have to say I got weak and went shopping on my blog. I am too darn honest. So I drove home right after work to my dog pee'ing on my laundry basket. So much better than buying something pretty. Don't be hate'in because I get to clean up dog pee and you don't. I'm just spoiled that way.

So, if you take away my coffee purchase.......which I won't ever stop.....then I had a NO SPEND day! Which is good, because I have about 3 dollars to my name!

I hope you did well today too!

Starbucks: $7 ( hey, don't be mad, I was starving this morning and bought a yummy new raspberry loaf!)

Another Good Day

2010-05-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

Wow....

I had this strong drive to go shopping after work. When I thought about it, I took out a journal and wrote down why I wanted to go.....documenting how I was feeling. What came up when I started writing was that I didn't want to be working. I was stressed and upset that I had to go back to work and that I can't afford to be a housewife. That was bizarre. I never thought of being a housewife before. Then again, I never wrote down how I was feeling when I wanted to go shopping. I just went shopping.

Then I thought about why I wanted to go shopping. I forget about things when I am shopping. I zone out and just enjoy and forget about everything. So I told myself, NO, I am going to go straight home after work. AND I DID.

I went to the surgeon and scheduled the surgery for next Friday. I need a couple days to recover so a Friday afternoon works good. The one thing I was surprised with was that they charged me $85! I thought she said $5 and then I saw the amount and almost yelled to her "$85!!!!!" My insurance changed in January and now I have a $200 deductible. The high cost of healthcare I guess. The good thing is that I have a health care spending account and they gave me a debit card, so I didn't have to pay out of my pocket. They have been taking money out of my paycheck. Thank God or I would be having to pay with "Natures Credit Card" if you know what I mean!!!!! And that would only cover about 5 bucks!!

I did good today.

Starbucks: $5.70

Doctor's Appointment: $85

That's it!! Can you believe it?! This isn't like me.

One day down and only about 935 more to go!

This is going to take forever.

Better Than Yesterday

2010-05-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

I am getting better........

I had to buy lunch today because I had no food in the house for lunch so I spent $9. There is only one food place next to where I work. Not much of a choice. If it's any consolation....it sucked lemons!

I wanted to go shopping, but to be honest, I was too tired. By the time I got groceries, all I wanted to do was come home and crash.

I did something today that I have never done before. I bought groceries with cash. That was so weird. Instead of using my debit card, I paid ACTUAL CURRENCY. That was a weird feeling. I actually felt poor doing it. I got this feeling of "People must think I don't have a bank account." I have no idea why I felt like that, but I did. Odd.

Tomorrow I am going to see a surgeon. I have to have a minor surgery and he has to look at it to make sure he can do it. I will know more tomorrow. I was nervous, but now I am just tired and want to go to bed. Although ice cream would probably help. hehe! They have this new Skinny Cow Dark Chocolate and Raspberry bars that look really good. I think I will grab one! I will let you know how good they are tomorrow.

So my spending for today:

$5.70 at Starbucks

$9 for Lunch

$134.48 for groceries (My friend gave me a coupon for a free family meal from er....I don't remember the name. It is a frozen dinner thing. I got it home and my neighbor was outside. I gave it to her to try.) So, the bill would have been $8 more. I figure I saved that amount and did a good deed for the day.

eBay Sales: $54.99 (Half staying on my Paypal account, and half to my sister)

That's it for today. Not so bad.

P.S. I tried putting the positive amounts in green, but the color is horrible on blogspot, so they are going to be blue. Thought you would like to know some useless information. hehe!

Overspent

2010-05-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

I will have to update the exact amounts in a little while, but I didn't do well with spending yesterday. In my head I just purposely ignored what I was supposed to do.

I bought some jewelry and spent about $50 and then went to sushi and proceeded to spend $80. And because I put all the money I had to pay the debt, I am left with around $150 to last a little over a week. And I need groceries.

I need to get control of what I buy.

I am using my debit card and checking out cash. Maybe I have to make it even harder and not carry that as well.

Shiny things blind me and sushi at my favorite sushi restaurant makes me go weak at the knees! Apparently I go weak in the brain as well.

HERE ARE MY BILLS PAID!

2010-04-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

Here is my chicken scratch for today. Since I am a big doof and put the last 4 numbers down for the rest of them, I can only show you part of it. But I paid everything. I also set everything up to come out automatically every month so I don't forget. I will be updating the side as I pay things down.

You know, every time I added everything up, the total debt changed. I swear I must have changed that tickler 10 times! NOTE TO SELF: GET A CALCULATOR!

So here is what I spent today:

Gas: (hang on....let me get the receipt) $61.06 DAYUM!!.....gas is way too expensive right now!

Starbucks: I spent, like, $3.30. From now on I will get a receipt.

Peets Coffee: $15 something.......I bought my friend, my son and I coffee and pastries. YES, I KNOW....I WILL GET RECEIPTS, STARTING TOMORROW.....sheesh!

And I know....I will also stop buying people stuff. It really adds up.

You know, I am such a stoop....I forgot I had a notepad in my purse handbag (purse is so NOT a couture word) But I didn't have a pen in my bag, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway. (Note to self: Get a pen for your damn bag.)

The items I would have bought today had I been in my old frame of mind:

iPad: We went in and I looked at it for the first time, and can I say, I WANT THAT! It is so perfect for me. The 3G version came out today and there were people lined up at noon. They didn't sell it until 5 PM!! Crazy nuts! Although, I was seriously considering grabbing a chair and hanging out to get one.

Water Bottle From Starbucks: They had the cutest new water bottle holder. It was clear and reusable. I thought about it for about 5 seconds and after realizing, duh, all water bottles are clear, I walked away.

That's all I saw today. Oh wait, there was a suitcase we walked by. One of those hard case ones, you know what I mean? And the design was like Picasso! These ones..... here

Yes, I know I don't fly. But I might if my luggage looked like these!

Ok, that's it for today. Tomorrow, should hopefully be a little more organized on here.

Have a great night!

Oh, and I am going to jewelry party tonight. Hopefully I don't break down and go nuts. I'm sure there are no returns so I better behave!

I was in Denial

2010-04-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

Not anymore.

I was totally in denial. Not working for the last year and a half, using my credit cards.

I just went through everything to see how much I owe and posted everything on here. It is almost the same amount as I had before. GAWD! (OK, positive thoughts...positive thoughts.....)

Each evening I will be posting on here what I spent for the day to keep on track of how much I am spending each day. I will also be posting what I am NOT spending on. So many times when I was getting out of debt I would see something and my old self would just use my "Magic Card" credit card and pay for the item. I put on my Save Leigh Ann blog what I would have bought had I been in my old frame of mind. So I will be doing that again.

I started listing stuff on eBay again. I will list here what my eBay sales are as well. Everything that I have been getting on my PayPal, I have been giving to my sister. Since I really need to get this debt paid off, I will still be giving her some (she needs it, believe me) but I will be giving her half of it. The other half will go to my debt payments.

When I started this process yesterday....I was so anxious. Full of panic. I thought "I can't do this. This is too much. This is humiliating. I don't want to admit I am back in the same situation." But after today, filling everything out and having a plan, I feel better.

I am going to go next door to get some cleaning supplies and will get a little notebook to keep in my purse to write down everything I am spending on.

I'm sorry if I let anyone down. I can fix this. I just need to stay focused. Again.

And I started on my son's 20th birthday!

5 REASONS FOR CHANGE

1) I could have bought a car for what I have in credit card balances!

2) When I am out of debt, I will be able to give my sister and mom money every month to help them.

3) My grandfather would be disappointed in me for not living "Within my Means". (As he used to say to me)

4) It felt amazing to not owe anyone anything!

5) Because paying 20% interest is just WRONG!!

Thanks for listening.

Needed a Change....Need Spare Change!

2010-04-28T15:26:00.001-07:00

This will be the home of my new blog. I am going to get the rest of it up to date in the next day or two....bear with me.